Why is it that the people you love are the ones that hurt you the most? It's just so ironic that this is the way life decides to portray love. I mean, a girl can hear "I'm sorry" so many times before she realizes that it has no meaning. Why can't I catch a break?
Sometimes, I think I'm lying to myself, telling myself that this relationship is more worth it than it actually is. I don't have all of the answers, and I honestly keep thinking that maybe, just maybe, I can be happy, but it just doesn't seem to be in my future any time soon. Unfortunately, I don't think it is worth it at all.
There's no turning back now, though. I have to wait the summer out. We are attending a wedding together and going on vacation. It's just funny because we'll be doing really well, but then you give him a situation where he has to balance out his life and me, and forget about it. Everything else comes before me. And trust me, I'm not clingy, but if you know you aren't going to see me or talk to me for three days, don't yah think you might wanna do that rather than get drunk at the bar?
I mean, that's what I would do, but maybe it isn't that obvious.
All the happy-ending movies piss me off. It isn't like that. Relationships don't just work in the end because two people love each other. Saying you love someone isn't enough. Maybe it isn't enough for this either. I used to think it was.
But not anymore.
Becoming a cynic seems to be my next best option. I think a life without men may be just what I need. All this shit is giving me a headache, and I know I don't deserve to be treated the way I do. Hopefully, the path of this relationship changes course soon, or I'll be flyin' solo to Italy in the Spring and partying alone in the Fall. No problem for me.
I'd just rather not waste my time.