Sunday, July 17, 2011

The Dark Place (My Eighth Grade Locker)

The funny thing about writing a memoir is remember what you thought at that time. At fifteen, I thought my world was a disaster, that my parents didn't care about me, that no boys would ever like me, and that I didn't fit in. If only I knew what I know now!!

The book is actually coming along nicely. I've been typing up certain excerpts and poetry I wrote in my "dark age."
Imagine this face with ten times more eyeliner, black hair in front of my eyes, and no smile. Oh, and all black. Say hello to Emo Jazmine!

Writing this memoir has helped me to appreciate my life so much more....again! It's like coming to an epiphany three years after my depression...and realizing how amazing my life is! I have a great family, amazing friends, and a wonderful life. Every day is so fantastic! I just visited a friend in New Jersey...and had a blast with her international camp friends [[=

Here are some of the funnier, emo-ish excerpts from my journal:

“Sometimes I wish that life was like my nightmares, to where I can say ‘wake up’ to myself and just wake up.”
“This feeling, no, it could not be real. It hurts, the things I need to feel.”
“Well, it’s not like I have a time machine. I’ll just deal with this my way.”

and a poem:

The posers and players of life surround me
The mirror shatters, I can finally see
Break the chains that weigh me down
Tears fall without that clattering sound
They all look but never manage to know
It’s my judgement day
They watch me go
I’m too out of place for this place all the same
I’m merely a pawn in this game
Life is so torn, over-exaggerated
This apology might be too belated
The me you have been deceiving
It’s in your hands to decide what to believe in
But here I go, once again
I’m sorry.

I'm a page and a half in to my book, and deciding on a layout. Any suggestions?


  1. Ugh...the Pits Of Hell...That's what I called my teen years from 15-19. Depths of despair......I don't even like to think about those years- it still hurts.
    Hmmmmm.....In what context do you mean a "Layout"?

  2. So I want to incorporate my excerpts and poems into the book...and I'm not sure how I should do that. That's what I mean by layout. I want to do something crazy different.

  3. Hmmmm....I see what you're going for.
    Maybe you could see which excerpts and poems are in line with whatever the Chapter topic is and Print your excerpts or poems in a "Thought Bubble Cloud" with the print being white & the Thought Bubble-Black. Reflects your mindset that way.
    Or for each new chapter, Maybe a black white and gray pic of a grieving angel with the Chapter number above it and the excerpt or poem below it. And that be all that's on that page.

  4. That's brilliant. Thanks for your feedback [=